Who would have ever thought that someone so sweet and full of life would suddenly be taken away from our midsts and never again to return to this life. I'm still in denial and it hasn't really really hit me that she's actually gone. Christina Cho. That's what I always called her. Never just Christina, but Christina Cho. I've read others' posts dedicated to her and yeah, they made me cry. But it still seems as if this is all just a really sick joke and that everyone's gone mad. Because I just can't believe that it's true. Even though I know that it is.

Throughout high school, we hardly talked. But we knew each other and said "hi" all the time. And somehow, after high school, we started talking online. That was when I started to get to know her. And I remember saying "yeah...i didn't talk to you cause i was kinda scared actually." and I remember her response, saying "yeah...i don't usually let TOO many people get close to me." But after that, we talked and joked online. And she had the most hilarious personality ever. I would have never guessed that she was the way she was: a sweet, funny, blunt, smart, and just genuine person. All I previously knew about her was that she was Korean, she was small and quiet, and all she did was sleep in class. I specifically remember her in AP Chem and AP Art History class. I remember her sleeping...in class. But somehow she always managed to get really good grades in those classes. She just had the brains. I admired that about her...and thought about how I too could just sleep in class and still manage to pull out A's. Yeah...it never happened.

But I truly enjoyed the conversations we had online. We would talk about school...and how she had Meggie in the same dorm as her. We talked about my restaurant and how she wanted Pho and she always tried to get to me send her some in the mail, haha. (How I'd give anything right now if I had another chance to drive down to SD and give her that bowl of Pho). I remember how she used to get so embarassed everytime I asked her to sing for me (which was every time I saw her). She always refused. But then she did give me the link to her & John's compilation. And I remember my reaction..."THAT'S coming from that little korean girl???" And I kept telling her to try out for American Idol. She laughed. Like Julie said, Christina Cho was so random and blunt, it was hilarious. She'd tell me how she needed to poop or wanted to fart. And I never would have thought that she'd say things like that. But she did, and she made me laugh.

The last time I saw her was during summer school. We were in the parking lot. And I noticed something was different about her. Then she told me she did her eyelids so she could get that "crease" that asian girls want. It did open up her eyes and I remember calling her a "dork" for doing it cause it's not that big of a deal but she was happy and that was all that mattered. Before we hugged each other goodbye, I told her to make sure to come and visit me at the restaurant again. She said she would.

Now our dear friend has departed from this life and gone onto another one. I can only say that her presence on this earth touched and affected many, and that she will always be remembered and loved. Christina Cho, thank you for your friendship--the talks and late conversations online into the wee hours of the mornings, the laughs that we shared and for your beautiful voice. You are in my heart, my thoughts and my prayers and may you find peace with our Father in His kingdom.

Almighty, Everlasting God, who has dominion over the living and the dead, and shows mercy unto all whom you know will be yours by faith and works: I humbly beseech you that Christina Cho, for whom I have resolved to pour forth my prayers, whether this present world will still detain her in the flesh, or the world to come has already received her stripped of her body, may, by the grace of your fatherly love, and through the intercession of all the saints, obtain the remission of all her sins. Through our Lord Jesus Christ, Amen. Oh Lord, hear my prayer. And let my cry come unto you. May the Almighty and merciful Lord hear me. And may the soul of Christina Cho, and the souls of the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace. Amen.

MARTHA FOCKER!!!!

yeah i hate my life. i'm gonna bury my face into books, music, and sketches now. i'll continue waiting on people (pun intended, which probably none of you understand but that's okay) and maybe...just maybe i'll get to be like Amelie. i might even buy a goldfish so it can try to commit suicide. what a week it's fcuking turning out to be.

so much for my happy ending.

damn...i have the biggest headache ever. and i was about to sleep but customers came in so i guess i'll have to stay awake. anyways...so i was just thinking about that one entry where i said i'd do all these things this summer. and i've come to the realization that i have not completed any of those things except for summer school (which i am now officially done with by the way). but what bothers me is that i spent a whole year to get a perfect gpa and in a matter of 6 weeks, i managed to screw that up with getting a B in bio. oh well. looks like i'm already starting to let myself down. it's no one's fault except my own anyway. so, there's a kick in the ass for me.

some moron just called the restaurant as a prank call. ha, ha, you're so funny. i know it's all just fun & games but please, don't waste my time right now. i really don't have the patience for it.

so yeah, back to this summer. i said i'd:

• go to summer school
• go to work
• watch all the movies "everyone should see" that i've never seen
• get a nice tan
• read more books
• spend more time with family & friends
• learn how to skate
• learn how to play the guitar
• play the piano more
• clean my room

actually, i lied. i cleaned my room. not completely. but it's hell of a lot better than it was before. you can actually see my floor. and sleep on my bed without a pile of clothes falling off of it. so that's a start. plus, my bathtub works now so i'm happy. so far, i've taken two baths within the one week that it's been fixed. and i'll buy my shower curtain soon so it'll be pretty. i've gotten kinda crazy with this bathroom/bedroom stuff. and i just thought...dang, this is ONLY my bathroom & bedroom...wait til i get my own place.

so i've started going back to work (well, just started today really. but i'll be here more often.) i haven't touched a book yet. i'm trying to spend more time with family & friends...it's just lately, i feel kinda...alone. my cousin & i took my little cousins to the beach yesterday though. and we saw dolphins. that was cool. too bad we had to go to class. but it was aerobics with julie so it's all good. i'm gonna miss her =(. i've gotten somewhat of a tan, but it's not nice cause i have all these lines everywhere. i'm multi-shaded. rica says she'll teach me how to play the guitar so we'll see. i have about 3 weeks left. so...

if you've reached this portion of my journal (which most of you probably haven't because...well, i wouldn't blame you) then...i want you to list movies that you think i should watch (movies that "should be seen by EVERYONE"). in other words, name your MUST-SEE movies. and as the summer passes, hopefully i'll be able to knock off a lot of those on the list.

i'm watching the X-Games...motoX. that crap is crazy. just reminds me of how much of a pansy i am. ha...i wouldn't do that, but i'd jump out of an airplane and skydive. man...i want to skydive so bad. i will...before i die. maybe...i'll die BECAUSE of skydiving. haha...how fun. i've always wanted to go white water rafting too. there are so many things i want to do. it sucks that there are roadblocks (i.e. financially, my parents, work & school, etc.) oh well. i guess after i graduate from college, i'll try to do all those things.

i just had a random thought. any of you girls out there, if you've ever tried that "intuition" razor thing...the one that doesn't require shaving gel, does it really work? i have no idea why that just popped into my head but it did and now i'm curious.

i've added another thing i must have in my house. a massage chair. cause i always have knots in my back. my dad wants a whirlpool bathtub. i thought..."damn, that'd be nice."

anyways, i'm having "one of them days". that's it for now.